If you’re not an adrenaline junkie or a thrill seeker it’s easy to get labelled as boring or an introvert. While the majority of the time I would describe myself as the latter two, there have been moments I’ve surprised myself and made ‘big’ decisions. We all have experiences that shape us into who we are, they may not always be good but they all teach us a lesson. If you want to learn about some of the things that have changed me, keep reading!
1. Growing up without my dad
Unconsciously I think living without my dad influences so much of what I do and the decisions I make. I didn’t have experience with boys and relationships with them growing up and that includes my dad. I wonder if that sense of not being important and not feeling wanted stems from this. Whenever I think of my dad I get emotional. When he left I was heartbroken but as time went on I learned to live without him and now I know life was better without him. I’m not a bitter person but I don’t know if I can forgive him for the upset and the emotional damage. My dad doesn’t know my hobbies, my favourite colour, how I did at school or most things about my life. I’m independent and I’m tough and that’s because of him and I’m proud of that. The line in Grease about the only man a girl can depend on is her daddy isn’t always true.
2. Meeting my boyfriend
As a child and at school I was always inexperienced with the male sex. I grew up with my brother but I didn’t have friends that were boys and I had no clue how to talk to them. I hoped one day I would meet someone and I am glad I didn’t put any pressure on myself and it happened naturally. A couple of days before writing this post my boyfriend was talking about fate and I still find it amusing that out of all the people I could have met I met a Brit! I feel like no one gets us except us and we have this beautiful understanding of each other. I don’t feel pressured to be a certain way and whenever I see him I feel free and at ease. Meeting him has given me more confidence, I’m not sure if it’s a sense of belonging and ‘fitting in’ or just experiencing new things and having someone to get to know.
3. Jobs and work
Work can be a tough topic to talk about. I think it’s fair to say we all have an idea what our dream job would be but for some of us we aren’t in that dream job. When I got my first job as a pharmacy assistant I was so proud to have landed a position after job searching for 18 months following my Communications course. I had that job for roughly a year before the pharmacy ownership changed hands and I was let go. At the time I was upset and distraught as I hadn’t done anything wrong and it came unexpectedly out of the blue. My attitude actually became more positive and during the few months that followed leaving the pharmacy I was happy and I found my second job. I made the decision to leave my second job in August 2017 because my head wasn’t in the best place and I had been experiencing anxiety. I am pleased to say I haven’t experienced anxiety again on that level and I am in a better place. I still have down days but not as many. I know what to look for now and I wouldn’t put myself through that again.
4. Singing at a school talent quest
People know I sing and I enjoy it but I don’t actually do it in front of people often. (My mum and cat are privileged as they get private concerts 😛 ) When I was 14 I took the plunge and entered a school talent quest. Some of the school students knew I could sing and they encouraged me to do it. I sang ‘Issues’ by The Saturdays and I surprised myself with how un-nervous I was. Singing for people you don’t know is easier than singing for those you know well because their opinions matter more. By doing that talent quest I proved to myself I’m more than just a girl who sits in her bedroom singing.
5. Going to my first concert
If you know me well you know music is my biggest love. It’s comforting to know it’s always there and it helps and brings pleasure to so many people. I attended my first proper concert when I was 19 (I saw Ellie Goulding) and I still remember how excited I was and how elated I was the whole night. That feeling doesn’t happen for me very often it’s not one I ever want to forget. For those two hours I was in another place full of happiness and no one can take that away from me or ruin it. I want to be a singer one day and it would bring me joy to know I could be that escape for someone too.
What has impacted/changed your life – good or bad?
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That was such a lovely post! I think for me my grandparents influenced me a lot! Xx
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Aww I’m glad you enjoyed the post! I would have loved to grow up with my grandparents but they all died when I was quite young x
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I loved this! I can relate to growing up without a father figure and not having any relationships with boys. I’m happy to hear your other achievements! You must be so proud. 💝
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I’m sorry you grew up without a father figure. Thanks for reading and for leaving a thoughtful comment 😊
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singing is the best xxx Good for you xo
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Yes it is! X
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I LOVE this so much! Life events definitely have a way of shaping us for the better or the worse. There are always lessons to be learned and thank you for sharing some of yours! ❤
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Thank you for such a lovely comment! Is there one thing that has been important to your or your blog?
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You are very welcome sweets! I loved reading this! And yes, my sister, was not only my best friend, but also my cheerleader, she was the one who always encouraged me to write. ❤
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Despite what some people say it must be fun to have a sister!
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This was a really great read Chanelle. Lots of big experiences can definitely have a profound effect for us. I always think that living overseas when I was younger had a big effect on me. It’s definitely set in a love for travel 🤗
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Thank you Angela! I completely understand about you living overseas and then moving to NZ, in lots of ways it’s an advantage, you know the traditions of both countries and have more world experience 🙂
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This was a lovely post Chanelle! It’s interesting to see how some of your past experiences have changed or shaped you as a person! You’ve done so well for yourself girl!
Claire xxx
http://eclairscares.blogspot.co.uk/
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Aww thank you Claire! X
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I can relate to the dad situation. My parents were together until I was 14, got back together when I was 18 and had my brother. He has always been in and out my life. I’ve not spoke to him much since I was 14. I’m glad as he’s done so much wrong, I prefer to not see him. It’s a shame your dad didn’t get to see you grow up and your hobbies etc, but it’s his loss. I love that your bf is a Brit! You was so meant to meet😊 Are there many Brits near where you live? I’d love to hear you sing. I bet you’re good💕 x
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I see my dad the same – better off without him, sad but true! I don’t personally know any other Brits but quite a few move to NZ ☺️
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One of my uni friends moved to NZ. Not sure if they’re still there but I think they was South Island. They loved it there😊 x
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Aww it sounds like it was a good experience for her xx
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This was a great insight into your life! Thanks for sharing! I love singing too! I’ve actually played a small show with my friends once.
It’s amazing how all these events shape who you are, even when you might not think much of them at the time.
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Thank you for reading Dal 🙂 What sort of show did you play, a musical one? Did you sing or play an instrument?
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We put on a little concert at this bar patio. We played the ukelele and sang we took popular Hip Hop and rap songs and harmonized them. and played them on our ukes with harmony haha!
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Sounds awesome! 😀
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I wrote that on my phone 👆 sorry if it makes no sense in the end! Would you ever sing in public? I’m sure your voice is amazing!
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I can’t flat out say I wouldn’t but there is a little part of me that still doubts and gets nervous.
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This was a really great read! I definitely think past experiences shape us as a person before we even know it but it’s those experiences that make us stronger and appreciate the things that we do have. For what it’s worth, you sound happy and at peace right now. Would love to hear you sing! 🙂
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Aww thank you! It’s ironic I wrote this post when my boyfriend and I were happy and together and the next week he breaks up with me so I’m sad and upset but what can you do. I’ve uploaded me singing to Instagram and shared a story of me singing last week. I’ll try and do more in future 🙂
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Sorry to hear about the break-up. But I know you’ll be on the mend and just grow stronger in time. 🙂 Ohh I’ll give you a follow on Instagram then!
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😘
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