Hello and welcome to the first Hey, It’s Okay… of 2018! These posts always prove to be popular and even though I don’t write them as often as I once did I still think of ideas for them and topics I feel strongly about.
I wanted to write this post now because I feel like it’s the right time. Recently I have started feeling a little disconnected and like I could just disappear into the background and no one would notice. I don’t mean that to sound attention seeking and I don’t expect to be the centre of attention but some days I go through each day never really having had a conversation or never getting out and doing something. This links back to my mood, it’s easy to get lonely when you don’t socialise or on days you feel tired. The strange thing is I hate being grumpy and feeling sorry for myself so I don’t tend to tell people how I’m really feeling. I pretend everything is fine when some days it’s not. The even stranger part is I love being goofy and laughing and I will always try to do that, even when I’m sad which I guess is a good sign.
We all experience different moods and emotions and many things can trigger those and set them off. I find my mood can switch easily, one minute I will be happy and then the next I am frustrated if my computer is running slow or the cat is scratching at the couch. I can be calm and logical but I can also be anxious and panicked. Overthinking can make me quite anal and I like order and routine and to do things a certain way because that’s how I know they work.
Another reason I wanted to share this post now is to voice some blogging concerns and how they are affecting my mood. I feel like I’m going through a phase where I want change which is kind of strange considering the statement I made in the previous paragraph about liking order and routine. Is blogging going through a quiet phase or is it on the decline? Over the four years I have written this blog many people have been and gone and I have wondered whether my time is up. I am not committing to stopping at this stage. Maybe a break is all I need or writing posts less often and as they come. I would have so much spare time if I didn’t blog and I’m not sure I’d know to fill it which is why I’m leaning towards the break rather than stopping completely.
I don’t just feel like change for the blog, I want change in other aspects of life too. I want a haircut and I am fairly certain I have settled on what I want. My hair is very thick so thinning out is a must but I wouldn’t go drastically shorter, I like my long hair. I also feel like I want to get out and explore. That’s very vague and even I don’t know what I mean or want to do but I’m at the point where new experiences intrigue me; trying things I haven’t before, going new places and adding more excitement into my day. I’m simple but I’m complex. I like to plan but I want to be more spontaneous, I’m quiet but my mind is loud – it’s a paradox. I’m not always sure what I want and that’s where confusion creeps in, not knowing leaves you anxious and susceptible to mood swings. If things go right you’re happy but if they don’t you’re upset.
We can also take on the emotions of those around us and if the people that mean the most are happy or unhappy we don’t always realise it affects us. We can’t be 100% happy all the time, life and people aren’t perfect. No one knows what the correct amount of happy is, it may well be different for all of us and as for what makes us happy that is up to each individual. Some people are lucky and know what they want and what makes them feel good inside. Others can be blinded by temporary fog and only have a few things figured out. They function and get through each day and try to make the best of what they’ve got.
Can you realate to these feelings? Do you experience moodiness?
I want everyone to share one thing that makes them happy in the comments!