Hey, It’s Okay… If You Don’t Like Facebook

Hey It's OkayHi everyone, I can’t believe it’s time for the fourth Hey, It’s Okay… post already. I am so pleased you have been enjoying the series and I really appreciate all the thoughtful and supportive comments I have received. One of my first ever blog posts was about Facebook and my feelings towards it. This month’s topic may seem lighthearted and less serious but under the surface there’s much more to it.

My Facebook journey began in 2008 after making the switch from Bebo and encouragement from friends who had already joined up. My first stint on the site lasted around three years until I deleted my profile. I didn’t delete my profile because of anything that had happened or to create drama, in fact my friends knew I was thinking about it and tried to convince me not to. I deleted my profile simply because I didn’t enjoy using the site. I had a small number of friends (87 to be exact) and wasn’t using my account except to play games.

In 2012 I created a new Facebook profile which is still the one I have today. One of the biggest factors in me rejoining was due to feeling out of the loop. Let’s face it, everyone’s a little bit nosy. I gained more friends this time round (numbers aren’t everything), made an effort to post regularly and enjoyed keeping up to date with my friends. I played the odd game here and there but it wasn’t long before the old feelings of disappointment and unease started to reappear.

I think now is the time to point out my mum has never been a fan of Facebook and vows never to join. I admire her for this because she’s not conforming and isn’t worried what other people are getting up to. Part of me has always felt like I’m defying her by using the site and maybe that’s some twisted explanation for why I’ve never really liked it. I always felt like an outsider at school (which partly was probably my own doing) but in most ways I like who I am and I like being different. I’ve mentioned before I’ve never been a party girl and didn’t go out to get drunk. Facebook seemed to turn into who had the best party that weekend or who could get the most friends and be the most popular. Even though I had my group of friends and my own interests it seemed even social media didn’t have a place for me.

Eventually these feelings bought me to the place I’m at now. I’d be lucky if I post to my timeline once a week because I know no one is going to read what I have to say and it’s easier to say nothing. Forgive me if that sounds desperate and exaggerated but it’s the truth. Take my two most recent statuses for example, they have a combined total of five likes. Perhaps it’s because I don’t interact with my ‘friends’ enough but conversation is a two way street. I hardly ever get Facebook messaged and the only notifications I get are to tell me it’s someone’s birthday.

Recently I have been thinking about deleting my profile again. Facebook isn’t an accurate representation of my life, I’m more than words and images you see on a screen that have been crafted purely for other people’s benefit and approval. Some of you may then ask, “Why do you have a blog?” but I can honestly say I don’t feel like I have to try to be liked and fit in and I can be myself. If you know anything about me, you’ll know how much consideration goes into everything I do down to the words I speak and choose to write.

That’s why I can’t leave this post on a negative note. I don’t blame Facebook for not accepting me and for me not liking it because the principles behind it are genius (even if I think social media can make us more antisocial – a post for another time perhaps?) You can connect with friends and family all over the world in one easy to use platform, you can share photos, memories and even meet new people. I don’t know what this means for me on Facebook or the page I set up for the blog and whether I’ll keep using it  – I’m still figuring that out.

Do you use Facebook? Leave any thoughts or comments you have below!

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21 thoughts on “Hey, It’s Okay… If You Don’t Like Facebook

  1. pearly says:

    I deleted my fb 2years ago but the sad part is my friends can still see me. And i can’t find any way out to delete is completely as the ID i used for it is also deleted..ugh! Im stuck, lol. I really don’t find fb safe enough.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Nadine says:

    I don’t have Facebook and I don’t plan on creating an account either. It just doesn’t seem like something I would like, to be honest. If you don’t like something, there’s no reason to use it, in my opinion. 🙂
    I love your blog and how open you are. I really love this series too!
    I know what you mean about feeling like you are free to express who you really are on your blog. It’s such a supportive community rather than a judgmental one like a conventional social media platform can be. It is a place where everyone is accepted for who and what they are.
    I would love to read a post from you on how social media makes us antisocial! I do, of course, agree that it does and I think that’s a lovely idea for a post. I will keep a lookout for it on your page in the future. 😀 xx

    Liked by 1 person

    • Chanelle says:

      Thank you for your thoughtful comment as always Nadine! I’m not bashing Facebook, as I said the idea behind it and what it can do is pretty amazing. I just feel like it’s overrated and I personally don’t find it all that great. I’ll get to work on that social media/anti-social post 🙂 xx

      Liked by 1 person

      • Nadine says:

        It does definitely have its pros but I completely agree that it is overrated. I suppose it just isn’t for everyone. 🙂 The same can be said for any other social media site as well though. I look forward to reading it. 😀 xx

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Kaily says:

    I’m totally not a fan of FB either. I just really (and maybe I’ll sound like a jerk here) don’t care about other people’s “lives”. People really do post the dumbest, fakest, drunkest shit on facebook and I just don’t care to sift through it. If I want to catch up with my friends, I’ll schedule a lunch date or something! Besides, my husband checks his facebook at least 10 times a day so he’s got things covered for both of us, haha.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Chanelle says:

      I am slightly nosy but I don’t get involved in other people’s business. I feel like sometimes people only contact me through Facebook, it’d be interesting to see how that would work if I didn’t have it any longer and how long it took before they realised.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Kaily says:

        Totally get that. In my case I’m sure no one would notice cause I NEVER post, haha. I actually had a friend ask me if I was mad at her because she kept sending me FB messages and I never replied back (cause I hadn’t logged in in a month and didn’t know). The crazy part is, she has number number, my email, my address and knows where I work… she could have contacted me ANY of those ways to see if I was mad! Haha!

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Holly says:

    I used to use it all the time because I was quite lonely. Now I go on once a day to use an app to see all my posts from the day but years ago and delete anything I cringe about! If I didn’t have Facebook if never speak to my sister as that’s the only way she communicates :/ x

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Anne says:

    Facebook is a little tricky and I totally get what you are saying. I use it to stay in touch with international friends and colleagues, but I don’t really post that much either. Not the best use of the site, but I’ll keep the profile just because.
    xo Anne

    Liked by 1 person

  6. adeleinglasses says:

    I’ve never owned a Facebook account. I’ve never been interested in it. In fact, I’ve never really been into social media in a big way. I remember back in school my friends created a MySpace for me because they kept on and on and on at me to get it. Of course, I logged on and deleted it shortly after. My favourite social media is Twitter because it seems easier to connect to like-minded individuals, plus it indulges my marketing brain and is useful for networking in the industry that I work in. I hope that whatever decision that you make, you’re happier for it!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Chanelle says:

      Since writing this post I’m surprised at the number of people who either don’t have a Facebook account or hardly use the one they do have. My feelings about Facebook have always been mixed. No one actually talks to me on there and part of me thinks by deleting it I’ll have even less of a connection with people. It’s a thought that makes me feel quite lonely in all honesty.

      Liked by 1 person

      • adeleinglasses says:

        I’m sure that there are other people that have Facebook and feel the same way as you do. Every time that someone asks me if I have Facebook, they usually respond to my answer with “Don’t get it!” Any time that you feel lonely you should reach out to the blogging community, you have SO many friends here 🙂 xx

        Liked by 1 person

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