Hi everyone, I can’t believe it’s time for the fourth Hey, It’s Okay… post already. I am so pleased you have been enjoying the series and I really appreciate all the thoughtful and supportive comments I have received. One of my first ever blog posts was about Facebook and my feelings towards it. This month’s topic may seem lighthearted and less serious but under the surface there’s much more to it.
My Facebook journey began in 2008 after making the switch from Bebo and encouragement from friends who had already joined up. My first stint on the site lasted around three years until I deleted my profile. I didn’t delete my profile because of anything that had happened or to create drama, in fact my friends knew I was thinking about it and tried to convince me not to. I deleted my profile simply because I didn’t enjoy using the site. I had a small number of friends (87 to be exact) and wasn’t using my account except to play games.
In 2012 I created a new Facebook profile which is still the one I have today. One of the biggest factors in me rejoining was due to feeling out of the loop. Let’s face it, everyone’s a little bit nosy. I gained more friends this time round (numbers aren’t everything), made an effort to post regularly and enjoyed keeping up to date with my friends. I played the odd game here and there but it wasn’t long before the old feelings of disappointment and unease started to reappear.
I think now is the time to point out my mum has never been a fan of Facebook and vows never to join. I admire her for this because she’s not conforming and isn’t worried what other people are getting up to. Part of me has always felt like I’m defying her by using the site and maybe that’s some twisted explanation for why I’ve never really liked it. I always felt like an outsider at school (which partly was probably my own doing) but in most ways I like who I am and I like being different. I’ve mentioned before I’ve never been a party girl and didn’t go out to get drunk. Facebook seemed to turn into who had the best party that weekend or who could get the most friends and be the most popular. Even though I had my group of friends and my own interests it seemed even social media didn’t have a place for me.
Eventually these feelings bought me to the place I’m at now. I’d be lucky if I post to my timeline once a week because I know no one is going to read what I have to say and it’s easier to say nothing. Forgive me if that sounds desperate and exaggerated but it’s the truth. Take my two most recent statuses for example, they have a combined total of five likes. Perhaps it’s because I don’t interact with my ‘friends’ enough but conversation is a two way street. I hardly ever get Facebook messaged and the only notifications I get are to tell me it’s someone’s birthday.
Recently I have been thinking about deleting my profile again. Facebook isn’t an accurate representation of my life, I’m more than words and images you see on a screen that have been crafted purely for other people’s benefit and approval. Some of you may then ask, “Why do you have a blog?” but I can honestly say I don’t feel like I have to try to be liked and fit in and I can be myself. If you know anything about me, you’ll know how much consideration goes into everything I do down to the words I speak and choose to write.
That’s why I can’t leave this post on a negative note. I don’t blame Facebook for not accepting me and for me not liking it because the principles behind it are genius (even if I think social media can make us more antisocial – a post for another time perhaps?) You can connect with friends and family all over the world in one easy to use platform, you can share photos, memories and even meet new people. I don’t know what this means for me on Facebook or the page I set up for the blog and whether I’ll keep using it – I’m still figuring that out.
Do you use Facebook? Leave any thoughts or comments you have below!