Hey, It’s Okay… Not To Have Many Friends

I’m going to start by saying I’ve never been the most social of butterflies. I don’t enjoy crowds of people and throwing myself into social situations. I have my comfort zone and tend to stick to it. That doesn’t mean to say sometimes I’m not brave and I don’t like socialising but I lean more towards being an introvert.

I have always wondered what the proper definition of a best friend is. I imagine best friends know each other since they were little, grow up together, are always at each others houses, and no topics are off limits. Is that what it’s like or is that a cliche? It wasn’t until recently I felt like I had a contender for best friend (no offence to anyone I know in real life if you’re reading). I had no idea my boyfriend would become like my best friend when I met him. We talk every single day and I always love the conversations we have. I feel like we can talk about anything which is important to me because I haven’t always felt comfortable talking to some people about certain things and now I have this person I can talk to about everything. I feel similar towards my mum, but not every personal detail gets shared with her.

At school I had a few close people to call on but there were times during high school I would sit by myself at break times or go to the library and read or finish off work. When you’re young being popular makes you feel good but most of the time I didn’t mind being by myself or having a small group of friends and I still think that way now. I have a couple of school friends who I don’t see regularly but we’re still close and when we see each other we pick up where we left off. It can be months without seeing or talking to each other. I’d like to think we will always have that bond. We’re in different stages of life, naturally you grow and move on but we still keep in touch.

I know I’m different and I’ve come to accept and love that! I was always the kid that did their homework at weekends instead of going to parties. I’m not bad at socialising and can hold my own in a conversation. I will have a conversation about nearly anything and I’ve always been an asker of questions. I genuinely enjoy learning about different things and what makes people tick. If I don’t have an opinion on a topic or don’t feel knowledgeable enough I will say so which often leads to more questions and picking up new information. I like to think my social skills are acceptable and generally I’m a friendly person and easy to get along with.

I won’t pretend I’ve never felt lonely because there’s been many a time. It teaches you what kind of friend you’d be and the type of friend you are. I’ve never been the like sisters, always in each others pocket friend and maybe I am more reserved and close myself off more than I intend. I’ve always respected my need for space and alone time and maybe I assume everyone else is like me and needs the same amount of space/time. When I write these Hey, It’s Okay… posts they really make me think and question why I am the way I am. For me, that’s important, it shows growth and the ability to analyse and evaluate purpose.

I always seem to talk about Facebook in these posts but the amount of ‘Friends’ you have on Facebook doesn’t reflect anything. I prefer to text people rather than update them through social media so that’s probably why I don’t use it too often and I don’t get many notifications. We all have those people we’re Facebook friends with because we know them but we don’t follow their every move and we may not even know them very well. Facebook is a bit of fun, and a tool I use to stay in contact with people. I don’t make it my life. I don’t update my status regularly so if you’re close to me, chances are you know what’s going on and how I’m doing. I prefer catching up in person rather than through a screen.

The point of this post is basically to say don’t worry about the number of friends you may or may not have, quality over quantity! It doesn’t mean you’ll never make friends or meet people you click with. I’d be lost sometimes if I didn’t have this blog and wasn’t able to connect and interact with my blogging family. It’s nice to have like minded people around you and people you can confide in and talk too but wanting your own space is also healthy.

I’m sure there will be friends you grew up with but no longer see or you grew apart. Most of the time I believe everything happens for a reason and while you may not know why it happens at the time, someone will come along and make you forget about that lost friend. You’re never alone! You’re even luckier if you get to marry your best friend and grow old together, they’ll always be by your side!

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What does friendship mean to you?