When trying to decide on this month’s Hey, It’s Okay… topic there was one I kept coming back to and it is something I have received a lot of backlash for over the past five or six years; not being able to drive. For most people driving comes second nature and they’d hate to imagine what life would be like if they weren’t able to drive. If you ask me why I don’t drive it’s not because I’m lazy or I don’t want to but I’ve never done any driving before and the thought of having to control a car and not knowing what to do if something went wrong terrifies me.
In New Zealand there are three licence progressions. You can sit your Learner’s Licence (theory) once you turn 15 and have to have that for a minimum of six months before sitting your Restricted Licence (a mixture of theory and practical). Once you’ve had your Restricted Licence for two years (18 months if you complete a defensive driving course) you can then sit your Full Licence test. At school everyone used to get so excited about getting their licence and learning to drive and that was just something that never interested me. My priority was my schoolwork and I only lived 10-15 minutes away from school anyway so I walked. After high school when I did my Communications course it was refreshing to meet people who also didn’t have their licence and it made me feel like less of a loser. I took the bus as it was free for polytech students and a lot of people did the same.
I’m not completely useless when it comes to road rules and how to drive. I know what most parts of a car do and I have The Road Code (the New Zealand equivalent of The Highway Code) which I have read more than once and have had my brother quiz me on the questions multiple times. The questions for the Learner Licence test are multiple choice so I don’t think I would have a problem there because I have done practice questions online and seem to get them right. I start to worry and think about once I’ve got my Learner Licence and need to start practicing driving in a car for the next two tests. I picture myself as one of those people who drives 20km an hour and gets beeped at to speed up. Just the thought of sitting in the driver’s seat fills me with anxiety and dread. Another fear I have is that I won’t be able to reach the pedals because I am so short.
I do feel that not having my licence may have impacted the time it took for me to find a job. I personally didn’t see it as an issue because I am the kind of person who will always be at work and find a way to get there. Currently, my mum drives me to work and picks me up and I pay her petrol money. She doesn’t mind doing this but it’s amazing how much it affects other people and how they think they have the right to weigh in on the situation. I’ve had work colleagues almost imply that I’m lazy and need to gain some independence. I know they’re only trying to help but it hurts my feelings. I have never been late for work and it doesn’t harm anyone so why does it matter how I get to work as long as I’m there?
I don’t never want to learn to drive but I want to make sure I’m ready. After my course, I focused on getting a job as it was more important but I am working my way (slowly) towards sitting that first test. I am going to set a goal that I would like to sit my Learner Licence test before the end of 2016. Once I get over that initial hurdle, I will probably feel a lot better about the situation. My brother is really keen for me to learn how to drive and in a lot of ways I have to thank him for teaching me things and going through the questions with me. I am also lucky that I live in a town with a reliable bus system and town is not vastly spread out so it is possible to walk most places once you’re in town. As I said, I don’t have my license because I have no ambition to drive but because I am trying to learn how to deal with my emotions and feelings and make sure I’m prepared for when I am ready to drive.
I hope this post helps you understand me a bit better and if there is anyone else out there like me who worries about driving, know you’re not alone! It would be nice if we could encourage and support each other. For those of you with your licence, let me know if you have any tips for first time drivers!
Chanelle Hayley 
No one should feel the pressure to drive and . Do you have driving instructors in NZ who will sit with you in the car and ultimately be able to take over control of the car should anything happen?
In the UK you can not start to learn to drive until 17, although you can drive mopeds at 16 – once you’ve passed your theory, you can take your test, there’s no time limits here which I think there should be at least 6 months. People can turn 17, have a week of intensive lessons and sit their test by the end of the week before they can drive by themselves – which is beserk!
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I know there are driving instructors and you can pay for lessons. I didn’t realise there wasn’t a time limit in The UK like there is here. Do you have different classes of licence for beginners or is it all just one level for everyone?
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Yes you have a ‘provisional’ license which means you can only operate a car while someone is in the car with you with 5+ years experience, then once you’ve passed your test you get your full one and you can do what you like!
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I couldn’t love this post anymore than I do! At the weekend I was moaning to my boyfriend that lately I get criticised all the time for not driving. I had a woman dig at me the weekend that I must have no independence and implying I’m letting women down by not driving. It’s my pet peeve that people want to criticise and ask all the time why you can’t drive x
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I think it is unfair how people can be judged without having a chance to explain themselves or be understood. You wouldn’t judge someone over whether they want to have children or not so why should something as insignificant as a licence be any different?
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I know. It’s really bugged me lately and some of the comments are actually really unkind. No ones ever asked why I don’t drive or even asked if I want to. They assume everyone just should. People are too judgemental. Not everyone wants to have kids or drive. I get asked those things all the time about marriage, kids and driving😧 x
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I didn’t realise you didn’t drive either, have you had any lessons before? I try never to judge other people’s decisions and be fair and respectful to everyone. Driving, marriage and kids are all important decisions and I for one am not one to rush into things. It takes some people a little bit longer to do things and everyone has their own pace. Try not to worry too much lovely, as long as you’re happy, that’s the most important thing xx
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I haven’t had proper lessons with an instructor but I have been to the car drome and drove my partners car. I have practised a bit so I know the basics☺ I agree it should all be in your own time. Not everyone wants all that anyway it’s just people presuming. I’m a slow mover so I’m happy with how I’ve done things. You should be too. You’re doing it at your pace, not for anyone else☺ xx
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I am happy mostly, I like being independent and not doing the same as other people x
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Exactly. At the end of the day you still have a job and can do things. We’re both fortunate we have good transport links and we have people who will drive us too. Plus you’re only 21. There’s no massive rush. People shouldn’t push when you have your whole life to learn xx
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I have worries about learning to drive too and generally driving like I’m not sure if it’s for me or not, plus it’s a bit too expensive for me at the moment!
Also it’s definitely a bit harsh of your work colleagues to imply that, you’re still getting there on time and you mentioned you pay your mum petrol money and she doesn’t mind.
Claire xxx
http://eclairscares.blogspot.co.uk/
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I know what you mean, driving lessons etc. can be expensive as well as the cost to actually sit the test for your licence. I may have been over analysing things as I tend to do and they might not have been implying that but it seemed that way. Thanks for reading Claire! Xx
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That’s really horrible that you are feeling pressured to learn to drive! No one should feel like they have to drive! I drive and I really like being able to but I don’t think it necessarily makes me more independent and also it probably makes me more lazy than non drivers since I always take my car places that I could easily walk haha! In many places like the US or Australia, it is pretty important to drive there just because of the lifestyle and the size of the country but being in the UK and probably the same for you in NZ, you don’t need to feel the need to drive. If there is transportation available for you to get around then that’s all you need really! Learning to drive can also be pretty terrifying as you said, I was a really nervous learner but I soon gained confidence once I learnt. Driving really can be a great thing but its not for everyone and is definitely a decision you have to make for yourself! Just think though by not driving at least you are helping the environment that bit more haha!
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I never thought of it like that haha, thank you Lauren. I’m not the type who always has things to do or errands to run so it’s not like I need my own vehicle. I don’t mind getting the bus every now and again, it is pretty reliable and I don’t live too far from town. Thank you for reading and being so supportive!
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Haha no bother! Definitely, it always depends on your lifestyle, some people need a car to travel to work etc and some just don’t.As long as you can get from A to B, you are fine! You’re very welcome!
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I’ve felt the same before getting driver’s licence.
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It’s reassuring to know I’m not the only one 🙂
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Thank you so much for this post! I can’t drive and currently have no desire to. Everyone around me is constantly going on about the fact that I can’t drive, but if it doesn’t bother me why should it bother them? Like you said, who cares how we’re getting to work, at least we’re getting there and on time too. In fact, my manager gives me more leniency because he knows I have to get the first bus of the day to get to work. But still, everyone always asks ‘When are you going to learn?’ and I always say I don’t know, I’ve even been asked if I’m ever going to and I get looked at as if I’m insane when I say I don’t know. It’s just not a priority right now. Plus there’s the expense of lessons and the tests themselves and running a car is so much more expensive than my monthly bus pass, so no thank you, I like having money to spend on makeup ;-).
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Thank you for your comment! There are so many added expenses when you start driving and making sure I will be able to afford them when I eventually drive (i.e. having a job and earning money) is more important to me. That is very kind of your manager, it shows they are understanding 🙂 I’d rather more money to spend on makeup for the time being too lol x
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Exactly! It’s definitely best to have a stable job first, but then you have to find the time around that to actually learn how to drive. Haha yes, definitely! Makeup and books!
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I know right, the only practical time for me is weekends and normally I just want to relax and sleep haha!
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Exactly! Work and social activities are tiring enough, haha!
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Literally I had just gotten my permit two weeks ago after four years of choosing not to drive. It impacted the way people thought of me, which I didn’t care about. But it impacted the way I thought of myself. Instead of sitting around and having to rely on other people, I decided enough was enough. I went to the DMV and took my test as many times as I had to, to pass. Now I take driving lessons every single day until I feel comfortable.
Don’t do drive because other people want you to, do it for yourself. Just get yourself out there and do it, it really feels liberating. And with the whole gas pedal thing, there are cars that adjust to your height and even tools that you can purchase if that really is an issue.
I hope you decide to not wait on this for the end of the year, and just go out and do it now. Xxx
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Aww thank you for such a thoughtful comment. I’m trying my best with the driving thing, I really am 🙂
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It all takes time x
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As always, I love the honesty of this post! Learning to drive is certainly not something that you should be pressured over and/or judged on. I’m 26 and haven’t learned to drive yet, mainly because I haven’t really needed it in my life so far, and it seems like a very long process – much like you, I’ve concentrated on my career first. I probably will learn to drive, but it is more likely to happen when I’m close to moving out as it would be more beneficial to me then. Great post and keep us updated on your journey (excuse the pun)!
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I didn’t know you didn’t drive either, it’s not until posts like this you realise you’re not the only one and there’s nothing to feel ashamed about. I am hoping to sit my learner licence test in the not so distant future 🙂
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Good luck with it, I’d love to hear your experiences, since I’m getting closer to needing to take on the challenge too!!
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I’ll keep you updated even if I just tweet you to let you know how I’m getting on 🙂
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I don’t drive because I hate it. I’m not confident on the road so I avoid it, and because I rarely drive and I am out of practice. I find it so stressful! But luckily I live in the city where we have subways. One day though, I plan to get back into it. I think the most important thing is to find an instructor that puts you at ease. I had different instructors before I found one who didn’t stress me out. Good luck to you! It’s all about repetition and practice – after you have x amount of road time, your confidence will grow and it’ll become second nature.
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I’m amazed at the number of people who have commented on this post that don’t drive or like me, find driving nerve wracking. Easy access to public transport is a huge help!
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