It’s time for another Hey, It’s Okay… post and this month I will be talking about shyness. I have always been a shy, quiet person but often once I get to know someone better and feel more comfortable around them, I become less reserved and more confident. Recently, I began to wonder if maybe I was misinterpreting my shyness? Thinking about it, I tend to get nervous more than anything and perhaps the feelings I’m getting are of angst and worry as opposed to being shy.
Shyness is defined as “the tendency to feel awkward, worried or tense during social encounters, especially with unfamiliar people.”
The definition above does fit with what I have experienced and felt before. One of the main reasons I get nervous is usually because I haven’t done something before and I don’t know how things are going to go. I don’t know whether that’s a normal reaction or if it’s me over-reacting but I like to feel in control. I’m not a control freak or anything like that but I like to be certain of what I’m doing and why I’m doing it. Once I’m over that initial fear, it’s like I instantly become less shy.
I can honestly say, I am not and will never be an arrogant person. There’s nothing wrong with confidence but I don’t like it when people are made to feel less important as a result. I don’t always like sharing if I do well or I’m good at something, I prefer to keep that knowledge internally to myself. At school for example, I’d always feel guilty sharing the marks I got in case the person asking me hadn’t done as well. I also have quite a vast general knowledge but I don’t brag about it or try and act like I’m better because of it. Everyone has different strengths and weaknesses and that is one thing being shy has taught me. In conversations I’m more of a listener than a talker but I don’t mind that because you pick up so much through listening.
I’ve mentioned before, I’m not the most confident when it comes to body image and the way I look but I have no qualms when it comes to bold lipstick. I don’t feel shy wearing a bright red, pink or purple lipstick, (some people might, and that’s okay) I feel confident enough to wear it because I want to and I don’t mind drawing attention to my lips (meant in the least arrogant way possible). If you’ve got it, flaunt it right? People tell you to embrace who you are and live life boldly but sometimes that fear of being seen as too together and too confident makes you feel you have to shy away from who you really are.
I have always felt I lean strongly towards being an introvert but you can’t assume because someone is shy they are an introvert. I believe I have extrovert tendencies, I can be very loud and my introversion is more veered towards socialising. I don’t like huge crowds of people and a lot of the time I don’t mind being alone, staying home and not going out, it’s not that I don’t enjoy social outings.
The thought of being around boys makes me extremely shy because it’s something I haven’t experienced before but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to experience it. When I do get the opportunity to go on dates and be in a relationship it will be even more exciting and feel worth it because of the wait. Over the past couple of years my confidence has improved and it’s still growing all the time. Lately, I have even considered trying online dating to see what all the fuss is about.
My aim with this post and with all posts in this series is to embrace these aspects of my personality and accept that these things make me me and to stop defining my worth by something I have or haven’t done. The truth is, I quite like being shy and once people get to know me, that wall does comes down. It’s all about finding the right people to take down the wall for!
I hope you enjoyed this post and can relate if you’re shy! Let me know if you have any tips to combat shyness! If you were shy in the past, how did you overcome it?