Hi everyone! I had a light-bulb moment last week which resulted in an interesting post idea. I am always talking about what I love but what about my fears and things I’m afraid of? There is a misunderstanding that sharing what scares us makes us weak and more vulnerable. Personally, I try not to dwell on these fears and try to focus on what I can do to overcome them, no matter how small. So, here I am opening myself up to you yet again. Enjoy!
So many people mention to me how independent you are if you can drive and you’ve got your own vehicle. It is definitely something I agree with and I am slowly working my way towards having my own car. Driving is enjoyable for a lot of people but ever since I became a teenager it has filled me with anxiety and dread. It actually terrifies me to think of myself in the driving seat, not because I’m scared of having an accident or getting injured but because I’m the one responsible for controlling that vehicle and I worry I won’t have enough practice or knowledge in certain situations. I’m sure once I familiarise myself with how a car works and what everything does the feelings of angst will improve. I need to get some hands on experience and stop putting it off. Another reason driving scares me is because everyone else seems to find it so easy and I’m worried I won’t. I’m torn between throwing myself in at the deep end (so to speak) and taking it at my own pace.
2. Public Speaking
Surely I’m not the only one who hated speeches and presentations at school. The thought of standing up in front of classmates or a group of people was one of my least favourite parts of school. In my last year at school we had to give a presentation which was to be video recorded as well, doubly scary! I was lucky on the day I did mine that the camera was broken and most students weren’t in class that day. I ended up getting ‘Merit’ – the second highest mark after ‘Excellence’. What made speeches worse is the fact you know the audience listening to them and you worry they will make fun or judge you if you mess up. We’re more afraid to be judged by those we know than strangers. This relates to singing for me as well, I’m more scared to sing in front of friends and family than I would be a group of strangers. Working in retail for the past two years has helped me feel more confident and comfortable speaking to other people as it’s an important part of my job.
Now before you go getting the impression I’m a total prude let me explain. I’m not afraid of other people being naked or naked bodies but the lack of confidence with the way I look. When I have clothes on I can kind of cover up and choose what I want to show off, if anything. I don’t always feel comfortable showing off skin, wearing a low cut top or a short skirt. I kind of like having a bit of mystery and not showing everyone what’s underneath. Compliments about my body will always be accepted with a thank you and they do help reassure me. Lester says a line in the film American Beauty which goes, “I want to look good naked!” I am more relaxed about the way my body looks than I used to be but I think we all have a bit of Lester in us! This fear is probably my most personal. Nakedness signifies intimacy which only a select few get to see. Bodies are beautiful. Being touched feels pleasurable. You shouldn’t feel ashamed.
4. Talking On the Telephone
Some people love long phone calls and can’t go a day without talking to each other. I feel the same about my boyfriend but we always message each other instead. I have called his phone once and the signal was crap so I ended up texting anyway. I don’t mind talking on the phone if it’s a planned call or it’s a family member but unexpected calls make me nervous. When I started at the pharmacy I was scared to answer the phone but by the end it became second nature and now at work I think nothing of it.
5. Running Out of Time
This is kind of a weird one… I like being organised and having plans in place and if something comes up or I’m in a rush I feel like I don’t have enough time and I’m going to be late. I also worry about this in the sense that at times life can feel like it passes by so quickly and you don’t have things figured out. It does scare me that I don’t know what I want to do for a job or if I’ll be able to afford to buy a house or if I’ll end up going traveling. At the same time, I have learned that you can’t always worry about stuff like that and you have to live in the moment and make the best of each day. Slowly I am learning to go with the flow… to an extent.
When I was a kid I didn’t get upset when I had injections or blood taken. I would sit still and just let the doctor/nurse do whatever they had to do. When I was younger I would always get flu vaccinations and didn’t flinch. At 10 years old I was immunised at school for meningitis and meningococcal disease and completely switched. I was scared to have the injection and my mum had to come in and sit with me so I would have it. I don’t think I’ve had a blood test since I was 13.
7. Trying New Foods
I have ALWAYS been a fussy eater. I’m not the kind of person who particularly enjoys eating; I eat to live not live to eat. If I go out for dinner I try to find menus online to pre-pick what I’m going to have. If I’m at a restaurant I don’t want to try something that I may or may not like, it’ll feel like a waste of money if I don’t. I’m not very adventurous when it comes to flavours either.
Did you enjoy this post?
Do you have any fears? Leave a comment below!