Hey, It’s Okay… If You’ve Never Been On a Date

Hey It's Okay

Hi everyone! It’s time for another Hey, It’s Okay… and this month’s topic is similar to last month’s. In February I discussed being single (CLICK HERE to read that post) and I was overwhelmed by all the supportive and reassuring comments I received. One in particular stuck with me and it was from Lizzi over at Thoughts and Things. She commented, “Do you date? It terrified me when I was a teenager but I think it’s good for the soul. Gives you good nerves, makes the heart race, challenges me to keep being a confident talker. Also tests my ability to feign interest in many topics but that’s a whole other issue.” and it got me thinking, hang on a minute I could turn that into a post.

Not only have I been single all my life but I’ve also NEVER been on a romantic date of any description. Part of me worries and is a little nervous what dating is like and the ‘rules’ of dating and how to date but those feelings I have in regards to relationships as well. Dating to me is often portrayed as being lots of fun, involves plenty of flirting and very easy when in reality, it’s probably not. The thought of meeting someone new for the first time can send people into a state of panic, “Do I look okay?”, “Will he like me?” and ultimately make them afraid of being themselves. With time and experience, I’m sure those feeling will pass. You shouldn’t have to put on an act to try and please another person. It’s clichéd but being yourself really is the most beautiful thing.

If you’re having trouble finding people to date or where to find people to date, you are not alone! There is nothing wrong with having standards and qualities you find attractive in a person, just don’t let that cloud your judgement. At the same time never feel like you have to settle for something you’re not sure about or don’t want. As for where to find people to date, I have this mindset that I could meet anybody at any time and I want to make sure the impression I give is a good one and I’m putting my best foot forward. I don’t desperately try to get anyone’s attention but if someone does happen to look my way I know that I’m being true to myself and treating everyone with kindness and respect. This relates to all situations from me dealing with customers at work to spending time with friends and family.

One of my favourite quotes sums it up perfectly:


My conversation with Lizzi also made me think about my attitudes towards online dating. Over the past couple of years apps like Tinder have become more popular. Personally, I have never used Tinder but I have friends that do. I might be old fashioned in the way I think but I’ve always imagined meeting someone and having them sweep me off my feet. If I was chatting to someone online I’d always be wondering if they were telling the truth and how many other people they were chatting to. It’s wrong of me to make assumptions like that but I tend to stay away from Tinder etc. for that reason. I’m not saying I will never use dating apps or other people shouldn’t but it’s a personal choice. There are genuine people out there trying to find friendship and find love but there’s also not.

By fate it seems, I came across dating guru Matthew Hussey when writing this post. Not only does he have the most adorable British accent (and is pretty handsome) I have learnt so much and found his videos so helpful. His thoughts are real and honest and make a whole lot of sense. He gives you tips on dating, early stages of a relationship, how to keep a relationship going and a bunch of other useful information. He’s not afraid to get intimate and personal and the videos are very entertaining to watch. I’ve linked a few of my personal favourites below:

  1. What You Should NEVER Do On a Date With a Guy
  2. Get Any Guy To Approach You With This 1 Simple Trick
  3. The 7 Most Unromantic Romantic Gestures

As always, thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed this post! Do you have any dating tips you’d like to share? Pop them in the comments below!


14 thoughts on “Hey, It’s Okay… If You’ve Never Been On a Date

  1. stashmatters says:

    I did the online dating route. My SO and I met online (NOT Tinder hah!) and we’ve been together 10 years now. 🙂 It’s really just a numbers game… you kiss some frogs to get the prince! I’d say be true to yourself, don’t falsify anything online because it all comes out anyway. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Chanelle says:

      It’s not that I’m sceptical that online dating doesn’t work because for you and many others it does. I’m just not sure if I want to try it right now 🙂 I’m always honest, maybe a little too honest but I can also tell when something doesn’t feel right.


  2. Nadine says:

    Chanelle, sometimes I think we are twins separated at birth. So many of my life experiences and the way I view things seem to coincide with yours. I have also been single my entire life and have never been on a date and I definitely agree with you that there is nothing wrong with that. In fact, I love being single. Although I don’t know what it’s like to be in a relationship, I think being happy on your own is really important before taking a leap of faith into a relationship with someone. It’s okay to have high standards too. If you stick to them you are less likely to end up with an absolute idiot. We have those ideals for a reason and while it’s unlikely that any suitor we meet will match all our ideals, those ideals are there for a reason and the spark is likely to be greater if the person matches some of those ideals at the very least. I was speaking to a male friend the other day and when I mentioned I had never had a boyfriend and the reason I think I haven’t had romance in my life before he told me that I should never lower my standards and it made me feel wonderful about the whole situation.
    I really believe that if you have to be someone else in order for the person you are attracted to to appreciate you then they aren’t the person for you.
    This is a wonderful post! Thank you so much for reminding me once again that it is okay to be single.
    You are such a stunning person! xx
    P.S I love that quote too!

    Liked by 2 people

  3. thoughtsandthings1 says:

    Just read this. I do think dating has given me the world of confidence but I think you’re right in doing exactly what you want to do in your life! And as I said to you, never lower your standards! I have never and will never be in a relationship for the sake of it. Your happiness first, always xx

    Liked by 1 person

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