Hey, It’s Okay… To Be Single

Hey It's OkayHi everyone. I always knew when I came up with the idea for this series that February’s post would centre around love and being single because of Valentine’s Day and me being timely and all that. I have been single my whole life so I am pretty good at it! This post is purely me sharing my thoughts and experiences in and around love.

Love is a word with many meanings and each person has a different concept of what love is and what love should be like. Love is a strong feeling of affection, love is a great interest or pleasure in something, love is being attracted to somebody else. Those are just three different meanings of ‘love’ and yet they are all different but still evoke the same emotions of happiness, content and belonging.

Like every little girl, I dream of meeting my prince and falling in love. I know the path to love may not always be easy but I never want to lose sight of the fact that it will be worth it. I’ve never had a relationship before and I’ve seen friends meet people and it feels like they’re moving forward and you’re just stuck. Of course you’re happy for your friends but a little part of you thinks, “why not me?” I know from experience it can be hard to take yourself out of this mindset and it can set off a spiral of negative thinking. Many a time I’d convinced myself no guy would ever want to be with me or could possibly find me attractive. Then I thought, is that really all I want? Is having a guy find me attractive the most important thing? Truthfully, I am still learning to get over these feelings but I have come a long way. The growth in my self-confidence and the belief my little quirks can be beautiful, my thoughts can inspire and I can make someone smile really help. I’ve always thought of beauty in other people as more than physical, so why wouldn’t everyone else?

In some ways it might be easier never having had a relationship because when you finally do get one, it will feel all the more special. You don’t have any preconceived notions on what it is going to be like and you can go into it with a fresh set of eyes and enjoy learning about that person and getting to know them. For a worry wart like me, you’d think it would scare me not knowing how something is going to turn out but that’s part of the beauty of love, it should be spontaneous and make you feel things you didn’t know you could feel.

I think when you are single and might not have been in a relationship or don’t have a lot of relationship experience it teaches you a lot about yourself. Single life teaches you how to be independent, how to enjoy your own company and how to make yourself happy. Another thing being single has taught me is the person I want to be when I am in a relationship. I know for a fact I am one of the kindest, sweetest, most thoughtful people and I am also pretty funny and love to make people laugh. (Not writing for a singles column I swear!) I am finally getting to the point where I am confident enough to be myself and not be afraid to share my passions and interests with another person. I never want love to feel like a chore or be difficult. Call me romantic or deluded but I believe one day I will find everything I’m looking for… he just hasn’t found me yet!

This particular Hey, It’s Okay… is very personal and close to my heart (pardon the pun) but it felt good to get these feelings out and share them with you. I hope you enjoyed this post and thanks for reading!

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30 thoughts on “Hey, It’s Okay… To Be Single

  1. kimmykeepreal says:

    Lovely post Chanelle, single life is wonderful! It teaches you so so much about yourself, and even though relationships romantically are real nice, it’s not everything. I used to think ‘what is wrong with me?’ when all my friends started getting boyfriends/girlfriends. But I can honestly say- that waiting is worth it! He hasn’t found you yet, but he will! ❀ you are beautiful and caring m'dear- you will find everything you're looking for!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Lor says:

    I love this post, Chanelle! I may be 27 (almost 28!) now and been in a relationship for about 4 years now but like you mentioned, I had zero relationships leading up to that point. Up until the age of 23, I was always single and watched every friend around me forward themselves into relationships. On one hand, I was happy for them, because they were happy. But I couldn’t help feeling envious too whenever I saw pictures posted or heard about their latest date. I couldn’t ever imagine anyone feeling the same way over me – flaws and all!
    Waiting it out definitely teaches you a ton about yourself and allows you to be independent! And as the clichΓ© goes – the wait is definitely worth it. You will never find yourself taking advantage of it because you understood the wait and somehow, it feels that much more valuable. Cheers! πŸ™‚

    -Lor // acozyspace.wordpress.com

    Liked by 1 person

    • Chanelle says:

      This comment is beautiful Lor! It highlights the points in my post I wanted it to and most importantly that it’s okay if you are single. In the long run it can makes things more worthwhile πŸ™‚

      Like

  3. adeleinglasses says:

    I really liked this post, it’s so relatable. I never had a boyfriend of any sort up until I was 18 years old – that doesn’t sound too old but my other friends had been through many relationships by that point – and that’s the only relationship that I’ve ever had too. It’s quite special if you wait it out for the right one to come along πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    • Chanelle says:

      I also think when you’re at school there are people that just want a boyfriend to be cool and fit in but you can always tell those people apart. The mindset I have now to where I was a couple of years ago is completely different, sure I have my moments where I feel like a loser and convince myself I’ll be alone forever but not as frequently. I really appreciate how the people who have commented on this post have been so honest and shared their experiences too.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. stephieestie says:

    I feel ya girl. The “relationships” I’ve had have been a disaster. 😦 I see most of my friends getting married and engaged and it gets hard sometimes but I keep holding out some kind of hope that it will happen when the time is right and the person is right for me. You’re young and you’ll have your day. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  5. thoughtsandthings1 says:

    Such an honest post. I refuse to settle for someone that isn’t right for me but also like to question if I’m right for them. My last relationship ended because I knew I was wrong for him. He spent so much time in my town he never saw his family and I didn’t like it. Hard decisions sometimes. I like dating, it’s fun. Do you date? It terrified me when I was a teenager but I think it’s good for the soul. Gives you good nerves, makes the heart race, challenges me to keep being a confident talker. Also tests my ability to feign interest in many topics but that’s a whole other issue hahaa. Anyway I hope above all you never settle. Promise? xx ps. Me and my friends had a really honest drunken 4am chat the other night which ended in us all realising we both admire and are jealous of one another’s lives. I think we all want what we don’t have.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Chanelle says:

      I have never been on a date before either, I’ve actually never done anything with a boy 😦 in a lot of ways I feel like a loser for admitting that but in a lot of ways I don’t πŸ™‚ I don’t think I would be the type to settle, if something’s not working or doesn’t feel right I don’t want to be the one holding myself back. Thank you for your beautiful and honest comment! ❀️

      Liked by 1 person

      • thoughtsandthings1 says:

        You’re not a loser at all. Seriously. I mean everyone approaches life at different rates. Some people get their first job at 16, others at 25. Why should relationships be any different? Learning to like spending time by yourself is honestly one of the most important life skills and the absolute key to genuine, inner happiness. Sounds cheesy but it’s so true! Dating is definitely fun though, give it a go when you feel ready πŸ™‚ xx

        Liked by 1 person

      • thoughtsandthings1 says:

        I met my ex in a coffee shop when I was waiting for a friend! Can be the oddest situations. Definitely nothing wrong with online dating though as long as you’re safe. My Uncle met his wife online. Xx

        Liked by 1 person

  6. adeleinglasses says:

    Boooo! I’m all caught up on your posts again now. You have a wonderful corner of the internet, I actually think that it was a good decision to remove the “Meet the Blogger” series for a while, it makes your own posts stand out more – and they’re really top quality so deserve to be in the spotlight! πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

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